Theodor's A Don, Bro

by We Are Carnivores

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released July 22, 2016

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Track Name: Theodor's A Don, Bro
What a banger what a ‘choon’; this has got to be the best stuff they’ve written yet!
So catchy, so unique; they’ve really found their sound on this record. ‘Incredible’. ‘Stunning’. ‘Phenomenal’.
I don’t think I’ve heard any of these adjectives before, oh, oh, OH excuse me
while I put my head through this fucking wall.
Oh, it’s harrowing when we’re all diluted down, to this new exciting thing, identical to the last.
I’ve just spent thirteen pounds escorting this CD straight to my bin; is nobody out there thinking the same thing?
My favourite hardcore punk band sounds like the latest pop sensation and my favourite publication rates them the very best in the country.
Monolithic labels trade integrity for temptation.
You’re fucking dead inside, I can see it in your eyes, this is fucking DROSS PIE.
This is not a development of your sound.
Oh, it’s harrowing when we’re all diluted down, to this new exciting thing, identical to the last.
I’ve just spent thirteen pounds escorting this CD straight to my bin; is nobody out there thinking the same thing?
Track Name: Scottish Power
Jump out the shower ‘cause we’ve run out of power. Walk to the shop for some ‘leccy top up.
Bailiffs at my door, they don’t know what they’re here for. Don’t step out of line or you’ll be fined for not paying fines; no relief for those in grief.
I didn’t want heating this winter anyway.
Your call’s important to us, please hold.
We are experiencing a high number of calls. Life is a Roller Coaster on loop;
ninety minutes of Ronan Keating –
nah I just want some fucking heating.
Hello?
Can I take your account number please?
Yeah sure it’s 0-1-4-8-2-you’re pissing in my face.
Great! What can I help you with today?
Well, you’ve been scamming us with extortionate energy bills without actually supplying us with any energy.
Mmm okay, can I take your serial number please?
Yeah it’s S-E-5-7-
No, no, no I’ve got something different here, mmm what I’ve got is:
3
ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE ONE
AIN’TTHIS FUN
Bailiffs at my door, they don’t know what they’re here for. Don’t step out of line or you’ll be fined for not paying fines; no relief for those in grief.
I didn’t want heating this winter anyway.
Profit’s the priority, so don’t expect equity; our planet takes a back seat. Fundamental human rights, they’re drifting way out of sight.
We’ve got to step up this fight or we’ll be
DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE
This structure is archaic.
The problem is not algebraic. OH it’s so basic.
Just cut the fucking pay check. Just cut the chucking chay check
Track Name: You Can't Argue With Sharks
Full of passion, full of conviction; convincing diction and zero friction from those who
are supposed to oppose, who vote in their droves and bray and loathe a tout,
for what is ‘just’ in post-lobbied lust and filibust to ensure they obstruct with their
black and white and established might. No light shed outside the left, outside the right.
Your extremes, they make me shudder; embarrassing and systematic.
Grey is my new favourite colour; the tragedy is in your rhetoric.
It makes me sick.
You don’t speak for me.
Full of pomp and full of glory, re-writing what’s written, reframing history from one perspective, from those elected, by those invested, to go uncon- tested.
What’s this about? What’s this for? Circumstance. Glorious war.
Are you sure? Let’s talk about fucking substance, ‘cause all I see is corruption.
Get rekt you fucking cunts.
Your extremes, they make me shudder; embarrassing and systematic.
Grey is my new favourite colour; the tragedy is in your rhetoric.
It makes me sick.
You don’t speak for me. You don’t, oh no.
Track Name: I'm Not An Alcoholic, I Just Collect Bottles
I can really lose myself when I’m getting drunk.
That’s when I’m at ease because I’m not comfortable with myself.
My name’s Harry and I’m from Hull, I don’t think I’ve ever drunk this much alcohol.
Can’t stop chugging till I’m vommin’ purple, that’s how you gain respect inside these circles.
See it off.
Empty glass, silenced thoughts; this society is all about propriety and social anxiety.
See it off.
Drunken words, sober thoughts, empty gut, Social Astronaut. Distilled, instilled, open mouth; saccharine.
Oh it’s so fucking sweet. Leave me be.
My favourite evening treat. ALL ABOARD.
My name’s Harry and I feel the toll of drinking too much alcohol. Escape my mind at the cost of my brain; more fuel on my fire on my open flame.
See it off.
No sound mind, no sound thoughts; sound body, no support.
Distilled, instilled, open mouth; saccharine.
We’re trapped and we need oceans of release,
from every drop we ever drink to escape reality.
We have all we need for oceans of release,
from every drop we ever bleed of our humanity.